The Cool Multiplier and Inhalers

In my last post, I mention the MMA Affliction Tee guy burying Red Bull and vodkas at 11 in the morning.  He had an inhaler.  This made me wonder, what effect does the use of an inhaler publicly have on a person's bad ass/cool/hotness level.  There are people that are cooler/bad asser/hotter than others, without question.  But, can their reputation handle the pounding that using an inhaler would deliver?  I'm not so sure, but let's take a look.

For example, Chili Palmer (John Travolta) from the movie Be Cool.  Anyone that can have the following dialogue is going to rank quite high on the cool scale.

Linda Moon:  What are you going to say to them?
Chili Palmer:  Nothing more than I have to, if that.

You are the best John Chili Travolta Palmer.  He continued on to punch Elliot (The Rock) in the throat and "break him smooth down".  If you haven't seen this movie, you should...lots of good characters.

Another example is Jay-Z.  The cat is just smooth and has been for longer than I've been alive.  His qualifications include, but are not limited to: having a Hard Knock Life, making the Yankee cap more famous than a Yankee can, having Obama on the text, running New York, being addicted to the game, having 10 #1 albums, married to Beyonce, and CEO of Rock-a-Fella records.

And what about All World celebrity/football star, David Beckham.  He can bend it, he can model Armani underwear, and he has a British accent.  He is also mildly attractive (or so I've been told).  He is one of the only celebrity type people that I can find that has actually been seen using an inhaler.  So let's do a little experiment...look at this photo of Becks:

Pretty good looking guy, right?  He doesn't look like a bad ass, but you can't judge a book by it's cover, he could be a secret ninja.  Let's indulge ourselves once more to enjoy another picture of this elite athelete:

Shit.  He just went inhaler.  What are we supposed to think now?  Well, I have a hypothesis on how we can calculate the effects of inhaler use on a person's reputation.  This is a purely scientific process that I call the Cool Multiplier.  It defines characteristics of people, and gives each characteristic a value that is multiplied by the person's original cool/bad ass level to arrive at a more accurate rating.

The spreadsheet above shows a few simple examples.  The calculation for Becks can be broken down with two items.  He earned the multiplier of 1.5 for having at least one tattoo and the -1.25 multiplier for having an inhaler.  This makes his total multiplier .25.  You can see that his original value of 8 is multiplied by .25 to arrive at the new value of 2.  Using this calculation, any person can obtain a more accurate depiction of that person's cool/bad ass value.  Here are a few examples of multipliers that can be applied to someone:

1..........Not a child molester
1.25..........Has a beard
1.50..........Has at least one tattoo
-1.25..........Uses an inhaler
-1.50..........Is a bad tipper

There are many other characteristics that values can be applied to, but this is just an expiriment and an introduction to this process.  Please feel free to add factors that you feel are important and should be considered here.

Smoke grenade.  Tom out.